To the girls who don't get dates...

I am not afraid to admit that I love love. I watch bad chick flicks like it’s my job and I read Jane Austen more than I should. Love is families and pets and friends and couples. Love is beautiful. Love is everything. And I love it. I love L-O-V-E. I’m a hopeless romantic and I am so excited for the day that I get married and start my own family. However, I seem to be stuck. Movies always start at the pivotal moment when the boy and the girl meet. They meet, sparks fly, there’s a catastrophic problem that puts the relationship in jeopardy, all gets resolved, they run off into the sunset together, roll credits. Everyone always talks about what happens after “happily ever after”, but I’m more interested in what happens BEFORE the movies. I’m more interested in that because that’s where I’m stuck.

I haven’t been on an actual date in 5 years and it’s hard not to let that affect me. I spend so many nights going over every possible thing that could be wrong with me. Is my laugh annoying? Is my personality too much? Do I wear enough makeup? Do I wear too much makeup? Do I wear clothes that are modest enough? Is my body too…much? Is it the guy’s fault? Is he not brave enough? Is he scared to talk to me? Even if it is something on his end, that STILL makes me feel bad. I’m too intimidating. I’m too smart. I’m too passionate. It’s almost impossible to not take the blame.

Patience is a virtue. It's an annoying virtue, but a virtue nonetheless...

Every article targeted at Christian girls concerning relationships is about how it’s “just a date, not a marriage proposal” and how “casual dating” is the way to go and how you should “enjoy being single” and “allow God to fill the gap”. Do I agree? Absolutely. Do I agree because I’ve experienced this first hand? Nope.

The whole point of dating is to get married, but this was been misunderstood for WAY too long. In high school, a friend of mine was asked on a date by a guy she was interested in. They went on a couple of dates but then, the guy stopped calling. When she asked him why, he said that he just didn’t see them getting married. Uh, what?! Of COURSE you don’t see yourself getting married, you’ve only been on a couple of dates! The whole point of dating is to get to know someone to see if you are compatible. After a few dates (let’s say 5 official dates… and by official, I don’t mean a 1 hour coffee run or a study “date”… set it up, guys…), you should determine the relationship, or DTR. If you think you’re better as friends, just stay friends. If you think that you’re compatible and really enjoy being with each other, then keep dating! It’s really not that hard.

This is a very simple concept to understand. But what I don’t understand is if I know all of this and there’s nothing (I’m assuming) wrong with me, why am I not dating? Serious question. It took me a long time to learn something, though. I am the kind of girl that guys marry, not date. I’m mature and ready for a serious relationship, but most 20-23 year old guys aren’t (thanks, hookup culture!). And that’s okay. But still, one date would be nice…

As cliché as it is, enjoy single life! Do I wish I was in a relationship right now? Absolutely! But I’m not going to sit at home and mope about it. I’m going to go out with my friends, study my butt off to get my degree, and think about the kind of life I want in the future.

And to the guys who just so happen to be reading this, I want you to do one thing. Just one little thing. Can you handle that? Okay, good. Listen to me very carefully: If you are even remotely attracted to a girl, ASK HER ON A DATE. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, ASK HER ON A DATE! Get to know her! The worst thing that could happen is that you feel like you’d make better friends that boyfriend/girlfriend. And that’s okay!