Enough is Enough

My babysitter, a guy that my parents had trusted to look after me came over one night. He tried to get me to put my hand under his shirt. I didn’t understand. I was told to listen to him and to do as he said, but something was wrong. I was scared. I said no. He kept trying, bribing me with candy. I had no power. Eventually he gave up. But when we were playing, he tried to pull down my pants. I escaped his grasp. I was 4.

I was on the bus to school, minding my own business, and talking to a friend. A classmate sat behind me, something he had never done before, and started heckling my friend and I. He reached out and touched my hair, his fingers slowly moving towards the back of my neck. “Your hair is so greasy. You’re so gross and ugly,” he taunted. My heart dropped unto my stomach. I wanted to cry, to tell my teacher, but my friend looked at me and said, “What? You actually think they’re going to do something about him?” I listened to her. I was 12.

Every morning for the first 2 years of high school, I hung out with my friends in the lobby of my school before class. There was a guy. He was someone everyone else had considered a friend, but I had never felt completely comfortable around. He was much bigger than me, overly affectionate with the girl’s in my friend group, and made too many sexual jokes. Every day, like clockwork, we would “compliment” my “huge f***ing tits” in front of everyone. No one told him to stop, myself included. I was 15.

I had never been to a club before, so my birthday seemed like the perfect time to go. I was completely sober and having the time of my life. Then this guy tries to dance up on me and he won’t take no for an answer. I walk away and he grabs my butt. I turn around and tell him “no”. He replies by throwing his drink at me. I left, my birthday ruined, the front of my dress soaked, and my eye filled with tears. I was 20.

I wish that these were the only assaults I have experienced, but the list goes on and on...

I have rarely spoken about these events because of two reasons: I had blocked it out or I had convinced myself that this is just what happens to girls and I would just have to accept that.

I’m calling bullshit on the last one.

According to Mr. Trump, this is all “locker room talk”. Were these situations just “boys being boys”? No. Real men do not treat women this way. I know my fair share of men who treat me with dignity and respect, just like they’re supposed to. My vagina and my “ass” are not playthings for men. St. John Paul II said that it is the duty for every man to uphold the dignity of every woman, and it has taken a long time for my dignity to feel restored to me.

This is something I have chosen to speak on, not because I’m looking for sympathy, but because I was silenced, because too many women have been hurt, because I refuse to be a statistic.