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Sudden Insecurities

A few weeks ago, I was getting frustrated with my hair. Because if my widow’s peak, my hair always falls in my face. I’ve tried every trend that you can think of, but I always end up in the same old ponytail/messy bun combo. When I was a child, my mom told me that I had a widow’s peak- a pointed gathering on my hairline in the middle of my forehead. She said that her mother had one, too. Since I didn’t have the chance to meet my grandmother, I felt special. A small part of her was given to me, and it was a trait that not many people had. In my current frustration over my hair, I did what any normal woman in need of a quick beauty fix would do- I went to Pinterest. When I searched for “widow’s peak hairstyles” all I found were videos of women shaving and plucking out their hair to have a straight hairline. I was so angry. But that anger begged the question: Why was I suddenly disgusted with something I’ve always loved about my body? Why was I being told that I should change i
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A Planner Without A Plan

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I’m almost 23 years old, and I have always had a plan. I knew what I was going to do the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year. I’ve been focused on my career and my future since I was a freshman in high school. I was going to save some money by living at home and starting with 2 years at a local community college. I was going to keep at least a 3.0 GPA and keep my grades above C-level (pun intended). After that, I was going to get into George Mason and do a semester at Walt Disney World. Maybe I would even throw in a job or internship in there, somewhere. I was going to make a bunch of friends and have so much fun. After 4-5 years, I would graduate and have a job and everything would be perfect. So here I am, at the end of my really cool internship, waiting for my diploma to arrive in the mail. And I have nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Me, all week I applied and interviewed to become a full-time employee at my internship location, but didn’t get it. Of course, I
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Hypersensitivity: My Constant Companion

 “The lights are too bright, but if I turn them off, I’ll run into the wall.” “I’m so hungry, but if I eat something, I’ll surely regret it.” “The TV is too loud, but if I turn it off, the silence will scream.” “My head is splitting from pain, but if I rest, I fall behind on my work.” These are the thoughts that run through my mind multiple times a day. It can happen when I’ve been looking at my work computer for too long, or when I’m spending time with my friends, or even when I’m just lying in bed to enjoy Law and Order reruns; I’m hypersensitive. The brain can play tricks on you. Mental illness isn’t always loud, it is quiet and unrelenting. Hypersensitivity is NOT a mental illness, it’s just part of my wiring, it’s how God created me. My sensitivity allows me to have intense compassion and love for those around me. I just feel things, and I feel them deeply. While these are not bad things, my sensitivity makes my anxiety and depression even worse. Feeling
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Tunes-day: Now Playing

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Happy Tuesday, everybody!  As you've noticed, I'm not doing the daily themed posts anymore. Between work and overloading my blog, I think it's better to do a weekly post with a few themed ones sprinkled along the way. Which brings us here! Accurate picture of me listening to the following songs... These are the top 3 songs I just can't get enough of right now: Kissing Strangers - DNCE feat Nicki Minaj Kissing strangers until I find someone I love... Kissing strangers until I find someone I trust... Kissing strangers, open heart, open mind, never know who you'll find... Believer - Imagine Dragons First things first I'ma say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, the way that things have been. Second thing's second, don't you tell me what you think that I can be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, the master of my sea... The Cure - Lady Gaga If I can't f
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#RevengeBody2k17

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Everyone has their own opinion about the Kardashian/Jenner women. Personally, Khloe is my favorite. She is protective of her family, she never apologizes for being completely herself, and her confidence is unrivaled. She was always told that she was the “fat sister”, but when she decided that enough was enough, she took matters into her own hands and coined the term “Revenge Body”. She worked hard to get a body that she could be proud of while making everyone who ever doubted her think twice before making that mistake again. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’ve had a roller coaster last 5 years. I’ve battled eating disorders, depression, anxiety, rejection, loneliness, heartbreak… Seriously, the list goes on. After another day of wishing I looked different, I decided to do something about it. After this spring semester ended, I signup up for Planet Fitness. I liked the number of machines and the fact that it was open 24/7. I decided to sign up for the more expensive m
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guARd yOuR heART

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There are two phrases that are pounded into the minds of young Catholic men and women: 1)       " Guard your heart" 2)       Emotional chastity By now, you’re either thinking “how do I get out of another blog about Christian dating?” or “what in tarnation is she talking about?” First thing’s first, to everyone wanting to leave this post, just hear me out. To everyone else, let me explain: The phrase “guard your heart” comes from Proverbs 4:23:                 “Above all else, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.” Emotional chastity, like physical chastity, means that we don’t move too quickly. Emotional chastity is when we build up this idea of a guy or girl based on our own excitement, or even Facebook stalking. Both can cause harm to our heart. I learned these terms at pivotal points in my life. When I was a sophomore in high school, I already experienced my fair share of heartache. Guarding my heart seemed like something
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Monday Motivation: Fuuuuuuuuture

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Right before graduation, I went on a Seniors retreat with the Catholic Patriots. What better way to celebrate the end of my college years that with all of my friends, some good food, and Jesus? I had a final to take that morning, so I showed up after the first talk while everyone was having personal reflection. Once I joined my group, they told me that they reflected on what they wanted to be as children and how that relates to what we are doing now. One of the guys in our group said that he wanted to be a waiter and a dentist. Quite the interesting combination, I thought to myself. But the thing is, that's exactly what he was doing. He had just spent the last 4 years studying to become a dentist and this summer, he was going to be a waiter. He was living the dream! But things didn't go perfectly planned. Even though he had spent years devoted to dentistry, including internships and even a medical mission trip to the Philippines, he wasn't going to be a dentist. Nop
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